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Jokes

The average parent has prepared more than 10,000 servings of macaroni and cheese.

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Top 10 signs your child has a Pokemon card gambling problem:

10. You find a My Little Pony head in his bed.

9. She refers to the neighbor kids as "those dirty, Pikachu-hoarding bastards."

8. Little Timothy now insists on being called "Montana Tim."

7. Has taken to calling you "Daddylion" and "Mommozar."

6. Claims her kneecaps were broken in a freak hopscotch accident.

5. Christmas list includes Lego's, in-line skates and $30,000 to pay back "Vinnie the Shark."

4. From behind the garage, you hear: "Come on, Baby! Pikachu needs a new pair of shoes!"

3. Pete Rose keeps calling to ask if little Johnny can come out and play.

2. You receive a package from summer camp containing Billy's ear and a note asking for Charizard.

1. She's been on the phone all morning, ranting and chain-smoking candy cigarettes.